a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
