One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize