part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
