Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
