Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
