He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
