you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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