so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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