Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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