I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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