I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
