hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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