I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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