Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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