Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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