Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
