Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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