I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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