I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
