I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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