No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
