Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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