normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
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