I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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