She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
