Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
