She is in my trunk
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
