i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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