and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
