I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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