Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
