Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?