he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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