If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
