I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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