Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
