I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
