Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
