I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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