So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
false alarm, still single
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
