Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize