i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's never too late to be topless.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Found the puke drawer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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