This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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