Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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