I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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