happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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