thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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