Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
