I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
