since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You're like the curious george of whores
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
