is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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