are you so shy because you have an std?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
