your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im holly from the hills drunk
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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