the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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