I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
