fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
