We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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